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Im sorry. When I eat cake, I flip it upside-down just so I can lick the icing off the plate! Keep talking. It's best part of the whole movie. 9. However, you can check out some of our ideas if you want to shake things up and change how you respond to how are you?. I'm afraid I can't do that. He's jokingly texting if you're ok. Let's face itat my age, I'm very pleased to be anywhere." George Burns (comedian) "The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive." Joshua Burns. bluntz strain indica or sativa; best mobile number tracker with google map in nepal 4. 17. I'm not Hal and we're not in space. 10. Because apparently, you need to go outside and talk to people to date. I am not sure what you mean. The person will likely pick up on the joke, making this awkward situation something that can be laughed off. Nowadays, potential mates need money. Ah, sarcasm. Are you asking just to make yourself feel better? I dont know whether to laugh at you or pity you. Id hug and kiss you if you were single, just like me. Voice command: Alexa, define rock paper scissors lizard Spock. Hey, whered you get that nose? funny response to are you still alive 09 June 2022. no disease, including cancer, can exist in an alkaline environment / siberian husky mask types Oh, a thought crossed your mind? The fact youve replied at all has come as a shock. Id smack you, but that would be animal abuse. 81. As geeky as it is, this funny response to I love you has got to make you chuckle. The answer is simple. How did you get here? It's best to say when you're in a horrible situation, like in a class you can't stand. 2. Listen, maybe your crush really did lose their phone. 71. alive # dead meat # tremors # kill count # survived # reaction # united states of al # dean norris # unitedstatesofal # you only live once reaction # united states of al # dean norris # unitedstatesofal # you only live once 8. Your attempt at social interaction to be polite is hereby acknowledged. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. But, you should know that, I don't like you, already. Check-in later and well find out if I did or not. Because Im awkward and ugly. Learn more about us here. Same thing you're doing, talking to you now. Norman Wisdom (comedian), "I have lost friends, some by death, others through their sheer inability to cross the street." 57. Share the best GIFs now >>> But, because they have taken so long to reply, you have grown older and wiser. All you have to do is save this page, or commit to memory some of our favorite insults from the following list, and youll be all set. This one could be a funny or cute response to sorry for a late reply, based on how they take it. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. 2. I repeat I am plural! "The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive." This does not seem right. (perfect for vegans). I thought you already knew you were a sociopath. Rotting flesh is less offensive than you. The truth is, if you really want to get him back, you should follow the steps outlined here.. This person is taking so long to reply, you will be waiting for geology to change before you get one. Save it for your best friend, but avoid using it on your teacher. I'm glad to know that you're alive.". Is that a scar on your face? 38. You dont need to say it. Im jealous of people who dont know you. a fate worse than death." Reply. It is a humorous way of saying they have not heard from you in a while. Oof, gotta hide! "I'm alright, mate". How to respond to an ex asking how you are? If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. If you're going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. I dont tell you how to live your life, dont tell me how to live mine thanks. A truly stinging sarcastic response to I love you. I firmly believe that a romantic relationship is a huge distraction. 6. 3. It's impossible for things to be perfect. 5. Like "I am not a Sunday morning inside four walls with clean blood and organized drawers. "If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.". Then you die. When you look at what some people have done for each other and compare it to what you expect. Dont let your mind wander. Haha basically a sassy way to say, "I'm still alive." Does the new one work any better? When you show them how you're not affected by them at all, that's when your comedic skills become the best and make others laugh as well. Id sue my parents if I had a face like yours. You don't need to say it. Living the dream! At least my hair looks amazing. Single is the new blackif that even makes sense! I'm used to it, anyway. 56. A A A Remember the time when you hated your ex too much that you wanted him dead? Perhaps it will encourage them to respond quicker in the future. Rita Rudner (comedian), "When I die, I want my body to be donated for research, but more specifically, to a scientist who is working on bringing dead bodies back to life." I dont know. Wait, are you my Superman/Wonder Woman? Perfect for that BRB, shower text that they never BRBd to. . 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. Hanging by a thread. 30. It lets him know that you love spending time together. Im always there when I need me. And trust us, once you use these lines, everyone will be ooh-ing to your snarky comments the next time someone dares to make fun of you! Sort of. Why dont you tell me, you seem to have a pretty good view from there. Well, I'm old enough to beat you in a marathon. 83. I just woke up like that one day. If your crush asks you how you are, you might as well be honest. Not everybody may appreciate them. The government? Just because you have a dick doesnt mean you need to act like one. I cant even afford to feed myself! Im quite certain that Im single because I didnt forward those chain messages stating: forward this to 10 people and you will meet the love of your life in 10 days, or else you suffer bad luck in the past. I havent met the right one yet. Tell me, how can I face my problems when the problem is my face? What do you say when people ask you that? On a scale of 1 to 10, Id say somewhere between 1 and 10. Herodotus (historian), "At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. I suggest you do a little soul searching. 1. Here are some funny, witty, snarky, smart, and sarcastic responses to some of those annoying everyday questions its hard to avoid: I couldnt possibly cover all of the annoying everyday questions that are probably chipping away at you, but here are some of the most popular: Related 26+ Funny Responses to Being Asked on a Date (Replying Yes or No), Related 29+ Funny Responses to Compliments. Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on July 30, 2020: Yes, this is a very witty, funny article. Getting better with every passing second. Maybe this person really likes you, and they have a heart condition. My lawyer told me not to answer that question. My grandfather had a ton of these. It depends on what or who I compare myself to. 350 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic. Hopefully, not as good as I will ever be. Reply. [Read: How to be funny and make people love your company]. "Yeah, you're three years late. Because youre highly qualified. Nevertheless, it can be a great approach to start a lively discussion! I laugh at my own jokes before I finish them. The hottest single of the year is me. If I was any better, vitamins would be taking me. Nikhil Saluja, "Immortality . It must have been a long, lonely journey. Im single by choice. StyleCraze provides content of general nature that is designed for informational purposes only. Ghosting is an unfortunately very common occurrence, according to a 2020 Hinge survey, which found that 91% of users had been ghosted at least once. While I'd love to give you the technique behind his funny comeback I can't. He may simply be one of the quickest minds in the West. Everyone wants me, but no one dares! By acting as though they are replying too fast, you highlight the fact that they are replying too slow. Follow for more funny content!! Read more about Martin here. If ugliness was measured in bricks, I would be the Great Wall of China. Synonyms for Still Alive (other words and phrases for Still Alive). How do you think that I am doing? People tend to ask the same questions whenever you see them, which is why you should have a few different replies to "How are you?" He was a good OP, of impeccable character. Unlikely, but worth a shot. I think I am doing alright. But Ive also had better. I favour the "How am I what?" Everyone has a different sense of humor. Not me, Im pretty depressed but thanks for asking. This is a good response to throw out there. Im a little busy right now, but Id love the chance to ignore you some other time. Alright so far, but there is plenty of time for things to get bad. When they play it cool, play it ice cold. Id love to insult you, but you probably wouldnt understand. Was that comment meant to offend me? 15. Why would you talk to someone at their convenience when they wouldnt speak to you when you needed them.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_2',106,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_3',106,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0_1');.medrectangle-3-multi-106{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. Heart-shattering. Relationship expert Susan Winter recommends gracefully leaving as the quickest and easiest way out. I play hard to get even if nobody is trying to get me. [Read: 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend]. I dont chase them just to satisfy my sexual desires. This way, youre insulting themand they just might be dumb enough not to notice. That will ensure there will be at least one man who will regret my death. Heinrich Heine (author), Fear of death increases in exact proportion to increase in wealth. Ernest Hemingway (author), Its funny the way most people love the dead. The music billboard charts got it wrong! 41. Use them as you see fit when someone pokes their nose on your relationship status. It's definitely a better reply than the standard, "I'm fine.". Usually, people live and learn. Then they throw dirt in your face. There is not always a need to be so funny, witty, or clever. Maybe because I lick my plate clean after having a scrumptious meal. Do you want the short or the detailed version? Could have been worse, right. I cant complain, not that anyone listens anyway. 1. "Fine" is a boring conversation-killer. The best GIFs are on GIPHY. OK, so now at least you should have some idea of how to respond if your ex texts you out of the blue. Martin has been featured as an expert in communication and teaching on Forbes and Shopify. Then I hope you find someone whos good looking, honest, smart, and cultured. It would be easy to answer that question with a simple "I'm fine, thank you.". You are about as interesting as a documentary on dirt. You go first, lets see if mine was better or worse. With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular Are You Still Alive animated GIFs to your conversations. Thats because Im like the last slice of pizza. Maybe because I like pineapples on my pizza? Lets just say if I was a Pokmon, my ability would be Oblivious., Listen, that feeling we call love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. I was hoping you would be able to tell me that. No one loves superheroes. Sorry, life. Being single is much better than being married. After all, every single day that you're still alive is a good day overall. No? Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. Nah, just kidding (though it might be true to some of you). Some good old fashioned sarcasm, there is nothing wrong with it. but it's just so blunt and funny. 51. Id rather have a doughnut on my finger than a real ring. Overwatch 2 Friendly Reminder To Leave a LIKE & SUBSCRIBE, ThanksJoin this channel to get access to perks:https://www.youtube.com/cha. Youre about as sharp as a bowling ball. We all grow up as we get older. To answer those who know you and the situation you're going through, use these replies. Virginia Woolf (author), "When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction." [Read: 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass!]. Do you really care? Hmmph. I'm loved! 1. Thats because my husband/wife wont let me date. Sure isnt my pay, Im still pretty broke. You know when you go to meet some friends, or friends of your friends, or to a party or whatever, when you meet someone new, at some point people ask you: "SO WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?" And what I wanted to do in this thread is list the craziest answers that you can give, you know, shock people or create an extremely awkard moment. Stellar, great, fantastic but dead inside. Perhaps you said something as egregious as Hey. Patrick Moore (astronomer), "Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote' so that on my deathbed, my last words could be 'end quote.'" Theyre incapacitated when it comes to sending a simple text, yet they can Insta their whole day. The following two tabs change content below. Because it sounds like some kind of automated message. If I had a tail, I would wag it! I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if Im not there, I carry on as usual. Patrick Moore (astronomer), He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death. HH Munro (author), My father was from Aberdeen, and a more generous man you couldnt wish to meet. Youll go far someday. When someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel like an empire could have risen and fallen in that time. I'm alive! Do you have a minute? is perfect for lunch-time banter with colleagues. Because you havent put a ring on it yet. but that was before I read Fred's comment below. Thank you Fred. Another common excuse that younger people tend to give when they take a long time to reply is Ive been busy with uni. Maybe you can Google it. Pick your struggle. Hopefully he'll compliment you right back. This one kills me! 18. Have you met food? By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. This answer is correct because the best responses to "how are you" should contain an adverb. Because they are already taking their time. 79. I could never tell when someones flirting with me or if theyre just being nice. In reality, "How are you?" could be more than just a . Hi! 35 Amazing And Funny 70th Birthday Ideas T 35 Amazing And Funny 70th Birthday Ideas To Make It Memorable, 101 Cool And Different Ways To Say Hello And Greet People, 101 Cute And Adorable Responses To "I Love You", Funny Jokes To Tell Your Friends And Make Them Laugh, Interesting Speed Dating Questions To Ask Him Or Her, 101 Questions To Ask Your Crush To Know Them Better, 350 Truth Or Dare Questions To Have Fun At The Next Party. I like being single. Thats because I get about as much attention as a white crayon. You don't want to be rude, but it's okay to give them a little sarcasm by using this phrase. Depending on your mood and relationship with the person, you can go one of many ways. I hate to break it to you, but Im not single. original sound - Tyren Sams. Funny Response to "What Are You Doing?" "I cry." Humor is about creating surprises. Ever wanted to be the wise-ass who always has a comeback for everything? Physically? Tell them to stop being nosy and avoid answering. is willie rogers of the soul stirrers still alive; cal berkeley football recruiting questionnaire; american housewife cancelled. Rather than kicking yourself later when you think of something clever you should have said, keep a few witty insults and comebacks at the ready, just in case. Is my relationship status a joke to you?! (Wriggle your hips) I am as happy as a tick on a big, fat doggy. The data will take longer to reach Earth than it would if it was sent from someone on Earth. response, because I need clarity in my interactions. "Any day above ground is a good day. 3. Do you like nature, despite what it did to you? Thomas Andrew Lehrer (/ l r r /; born April 9, 1928) is an American musician, singer-songwriter, satirist, and mathematician, who later taught mathematics and musical theater.He recorded pithy and humorous songs that became popular in the 1950s and 1960s. Living an amazing dream. And it's time for me to make my escape. (Say it like he or. I've Been Thinking About You Too They might not be with you right now, but they will always be on your mind. Well, seeing as you care, how long do you have? You have more faces than Mount Rushmore. If ignorance barrel prices go up, I want drilling rights to his head. This means that when they get super excited, it can cause their heart to beat too fast, which causes death. Oh, stop it, will you? No one will expect to hear it, so you'll be catching your friends off guard. Firing back with something a little funny or witty will make them take notice! 2. There are many other euphemisms you could use, though: Still ticking. Because a single-storey is much more economical than a double-storey. If you are in a coma, then that is a valid excuse for not texting back. Best "How Are You?" Answers. Youre like Monday: no one likes you. Alexa's response: No, that's not true. Talk is cheapbut then again, so are you. Maybe you said something so vile, so horrible, so disgusting that they no longer want to speak to you. You nervously reply "yeah, but I'm a little busy and-", only for one person to reply "um, no one asked you. Do I look like someone whos into cheesy things like romantic relationships?! Its a before picture in one of those plastic surgery magazines, isnt it? I thought I had the flu, but then I realized your face makes me sick to my stomach. Spiritually? Going strong. Liked what you just read? Socrates (philosopher), "The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated." These comebacks are best for those situations where you dont just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. Alive Jokes. The next time the cat gets your tongue, heres a big list of good, witty, nasty, funny sarcastic and clever comebacks for every conversation, no matter where you are! Cant complainI have tried, but no one listens. If your best friends are worrying about you due to your new break up, this one you can use to make them feel relaxed. Hemali is an ICF-Certified ACC Level Life Coach with 3 years of experience in relationship, marriage, and grief coaching. "See, I will finally make you smile.". If you are in a coma, on the other hand, you are legally very much alive. Your lips are moving, but all I hear is blah, blah, blah.. 74. Financially? Id love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. Ive had worse. Thats because I only enjoy long, romantic walks to the fridge. Sort: Relevant Newest # living # seth meyers # im here # its me # lnsm # tired # dead # shot # arrows # loser # hello # hi # hey # tap # listen # alive # pearl jam # eddie vedder # i'm good # i'm ok You don't want others to assume that you feel as horrible as you look, so this is the way to set them straight. 4. [Read: 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm]. It's Okay. It could be raining men, and Id still be single. If someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel much longer than it is. You are waiting for their reply, and they should be aware of this. Which one you use would depend on particular circumstances, but in the example you gave, I think "still alive" probably works best. 22. Truth is, we all have ugly experiences with our past lovers. If this doesn't get a response, it's sure to get a laugh. 13. I really thought you already knew. 3. In such a case, if you are unavailable to communicate with new clients right away, you can use auto responses instead. Im not ready to share my food with anyone yet. Here, there are hilarious replies, witty comebacks, flirty responses, and many other answers to this question. When you're mad, but don't want to ruin your impression, this is a nice way to reply to your crush or match. For example, when people expect you to say yes, you say no; when people wish you to say a big number, you give a tiny number. Feeling confident? If there is just one valid reason for someone not replying to you, that reason would be their death. I died last week, since then. It's quite the accomplishment. Your friends will expect you to say "fine" or "good," so shake things up by providing an unexpected answer. It would be great if puppies would stay puppies forever. All rights reserved. A romantic relationship would severely impair my crime-fighting order of business. (Say it like he or she is complimenting you even though he or she is not.) Even if life is rough, be happy that you're still alive. Passed into the next room and told me to tell you go fuck yourself. I'd love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. Nevertheless, life must go on, and sometimes you just have to go with the flow, as they sayeven if you don't want to discuss your relationship status! The way youre acting vs reality creates a juxtaposition that highlights their slowness. Let me introduce you to a man who wrote a comeback so good, he instantly won a date. (bonus points to you if you sing it). Youre not as bad as everyone says. The best I can be. 93. Read about the differences between burning alive, staying alive and being dead or alive as we explore the many ways of keeping ourselves in the land of the living. 54. What could go wrong? Not bad. Some of the best, wittiest, and most humorous quotations in the English language are quotations about age, childhood, adolescence, middle age, and old age most of all, about growing old!